Over the winter break, I went to driving school. Not something I was looking forward to doing. I have no desire to learn to drive whatsoever, so I’m really doing it so people will stop asking me when I’m going to get my license. This is not a very good motivator. I dread every in-car lesson I have coming up.
The in-class stuff was not so bad. Getting up early is not fun, but really not a big deal. Actually, the in-class stuff kinda sucked too. Half the class was learning not to drink and drive, and the other half was learning not to text and drive. I neither drink nor text, so there’s really not much for me to learn there. There were some fun, bad, educational videos, so I enjoyed that. There were also videos where a guy was talking about… something… but you couldn’t pay attention to what he was saying because he said “um” every two seconds. Had the instructor not pointed this out, I might have been able to pay attention, but since she did, everyone was laughing and trying to count how many times he said “um”. But the videos with the teenage actors were good. And by good, I mean bad.
I liked hearing the instructor’s stories about driving with people and what people do on their tests. There are definitely people out there who are worse than me, but when I’m driving, I feel like I must be one of them. I did not, however, like hearing the instructor’s stories about kids learning to drive being nearly attacked by other drivers (for doing the right thing!) and about driving instructors who now have disabilities due to being in a crash while driving with a student (not the student’s fault, however). “You still wanna drive?” the instructor would ask us every once in awhile. “Hell, no!” I thought.
The in-class part was four days long. We had a quiz each day on material in a driver’s handbook, and homework due at the end of the week. The homework was easy, but I did not like how we did the quizzes. The quizzes themselves were fair and easy… if you read the material. Unfortunately, the only time we got to read the book was during lunch/snack/smoke breaks, and even if you didn’t have lunch/snacks/smokes, you probably wouldn’t be able to finished the assigned reading.
I had my first in-car lesson last week. I was very nervous. I went out with my dad to a parking lot the morning of my lesson so I would remember the feel of the car. I hadn’t driven since probably last summer, and then, it was only in parking lots and back roads. The last time we went out driving, I think I ended up crying all the way home because a couple people gave me the finger. I think it was because I was going too slow (probably about the speed limit, or 10 under at the least), but I’m really not sure. That’s what I don’t like; when people get mad at me and I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. And people seem to get mad at me a lot.
Driving with my dad went alright. I went up on the curb a couple of times, but nothing too bad. I asked him to let me drive around our block once, since I figured I would just be driving around our residential area with my instructor. I was right, and boy, was I glad that’s all we had to do. I get very nervous when there are lots of other cars around. Or just one other car. But especially at big intersections, heavy traffic areas.
Right away, as I turned onto the next street, my instructor told me I was turning wrong. I wasn’t doing hand-over-hand; I was just doing… like, swiping back and forth, is how she kind of motioned. I was sure the way I was doing it had to be right, because it felt natural, but now that I’ve had more experience doing right, that feels better. I also was pretty bad at stopping nicely; instead, it was always abrupt. So I worked on those two things for the next lesson, and I think I improved. I’m still terrible at figuring out how much pressure to put on the brake/gas, but you can really only find that out by experience.
It’s weird going back and forth from her car to my car, since the brakes and everything are different. You really have to make sure you’ve hit the turn signal on the instructor’s car so it stays on; in my car, it doesn’t seem to take as much effort. Also, her signal doesn’t seem to make any noise when it’s on, so it’s easy to not quite turn it on or forget to turn it off.
I was not too impressed by instructor for a few things. At one point during the lesson, I heard a noise inside the car and had no idea what it was. It turned out to be her phone. She then spent the next ten minutes or so texting someone. It sounded like she was having a bad day, because she mentioned having a few other kids before me, who I guess were just as nervous as me. She talked about needing to go home and have a drink. I understand it’s a stressful job, but she just didn’t make me feel very comfortable.
Yesterday was my second lesson. I felt really good about it until about the last ten minutes. (Driving for an hour and a half at a time is just too much for me). We drove out to the backroads/outskirts of the city. It was fairly simple, only one or two turns before we got out to where there was no one, so I think I did okay at that. At one intersection, we stopped, and we both noticed there was a dog sitting in the passenger seat of the car behind us. Then we ended up talking about pets for awhile, and it was all very nice. Much better conversation that my first lesson. Then from there, it was a lot of driving straight, and it seemed a little useless to me. I understand a lot of driving is driving straight, but I can do that with my dad. I need her to tell me what I’m doing wrong and how to fix it.
She also tends to say a lot “over there”, yet I don’t know where “over there” is. When I was parking to go back to my house, she said “over there”, so I went to stop on the right side of the street. Then she said “well, you live over there” on the left side, but the only place there was in front of my driveway between two cars. So that was confusing. And then we went in a roundabout type thing the second day, and I didn’t know where she wanted me to go off. It was like that with my dad too; if I knew where I was going and where I was turning in advance, I think I would be doing things better. But when the person telling you seems to just decide on a whim, and sometimes at the last second, I screw up.
Then she tells me to start braking sooner at stops. But other times she’ll tell me I’m stopping too soon. And then I do start braking sooner, but she doesn’t realize it because I’m not braking enough. And then when I brake more, she tells me it’s too hard. I seem to do everything wrong in every way that you can do it wrong.
And then, back to not knowing where I’m doing. She’ll tell me I’m going to turn left, so I ask “I have to go in that lane, right?”. The first few time I changed lanes, I didn’t signal, didn’t check my mirrors, blind spot, nothing. I figured she was going to tell me what to do, and I suppose that was wrong of me. The next few times, I signalled, but didn’t check, and she commented I was going to get us killed. That makes me feel super bad, when I do really stupid things that could get us in an accident.
I also yesterday, I don’t know if was went through a red light or what. I can’t remember what happened, because it was very fast. I was at a big enough intersection near my house, and the light turned yellow as I was going towards it. All day, she had been telling me to “keep going” when I hit a yellow light, so I kept going, but I guess it turned red as I was going through, or she yelled at me, or something, because I stopped… in the intersection. She yelled “go go go!” so I went. That was around the last ten minutes and when I started to feel terrible.
I did however, yesterday, do some things I thought were good. When someone turned, or was about to turn, in front of me, I knew to slow down without being told. I think I reacted well to what other drivers did. Today, I guess I made someone mad, and I can only guess by going slow, and she went in front of me, then swerved in and out of the turning lane. The instructor said she did it on purpose. But I certainly didn’t come near to hitting her.
Today, the instructor said we had to start doing parallel parking, since we can’t just drive and do turns. Today’s lesson went very well, I think. I judge how well I did by how much I feel like crying when I get home, and today I did not feel like crying at all. I think I did not feel like crying because I didn’t do anything stupid that would get me into any accidents.
I did parallel parking and three-point turns, and the way the instructor explained them made sense. I think I did them alright, I just need practice. I only did each about four times today. I’ve never doing any type of parking or special manoeuvrs like that, and she seemed to expect me to remember how to do them immediately. I don’t fully understand how the car and the wheels and turning and all that works, so while it seems like common sense to her that I need to turn the wheel all the way to the left, this is not something that just makes sense to me. Yesterday, she had me back into a driveway to turn around, and I asked her where I was supposed to be looking, and she was just kind of like “well, duh, you’re supposed to be looking that way”. I realize if I’m driving a car, I should know all these mechanics and physics, but I just don’t yet.
She also seems to want to book my appointments and get them over as quick as possible. That doesn’t give me much time to practice, especially since I’m at school during the week with no car/anyone to drive with. My dad came out here once last week and we drove around and did quite well, but that’s a hassle. I really didn’t like having lessons two days in a row this weekend.
My instructor said today that I’m 100% better than the first day. My dad is way more comfortable driving with me now. He’s been talking about letting me drive back home from school on Friday, but I don’t think my brother wants to be a passenger quite yet. I feel a lot better about driving, but I still suck at everything. I just need a lot more practice. But I still do not want to drive at all.
I was looking at Myers-Briggs personality stuff this weekend. I’m an ISTJ, and every test I try, months apart, years apart, I still get ISTJ. Even if I try to trip it up, I still get ISTJ. I think a lot of it describes me well, but I don’t feel like I’m so set in tradition and such a respect-for-authority type as it makes me out to be. This description seems quite applicable to my current situation:
The ISTJ will work for long periods of time and put tremendous amounts of energy into doing any task which they see as important to fulfilling a goal. However, they will resist putting energy into things which don’t make sense to them, or for which they can’t see a practical application.
Portrait of an ISTJ: The Duty Fulfiller
I definitely don’t see the practicality in driving. That seems like an extremely obtuse statement; let me rephrase it. I don’t see the practicality in driving for me. I have nowhere to go, and if I did, I would walk or take the bus. I don’t go see friends or go out with friends (I’m an ISTJ). I don’t work (I have this delusional notion of trying to remain a child as long as I can; this is also why I don’t drive). Where am I going to drive?
I had my mom and brother do the test today, and my mom is ESFJ and my brother is the same as me, ISTJ. There are some people who seem to try to determine who all the people around them’s types are, and try to understand other people that way. I totally don’t get how you would figure that out for other people. Is that an ISTJ thing?
My brother got Breaking Bad on DVD for Christmas. Since then, my family and I have been watching several episodes a day. I think we went through the entire fourth season today (well, technically, yesterday and today). So, spoilers from here on out for all seasons of the show, but I suppose I can say how many emotions I went through in a space of like five seconds during the season four finale without spoiling anything. It was like shock, then joy, then disbelief, then disappointment… then shock, then confusion, then joy, then sadness, then acceptance. So yeah. It was good.
Spoiler warning back on!
The first thing I want to talk about is, of course, that scene. He steps out of the room, and I’m like “How did that happen?”, then “Yeah! He made it!”, then “Come on now, there’s no way he could have made it”, then “What a cop out!”… then the pan over, and it’s like “Whoa!” and then “He’s a… robot?” (I guess I forgot this show isn’t a sci-fi). Then I’m like “Yeah! Walt did it!”, then “Aww, no more Gus!”, then “Well, I guess it had to happen”. Phew.
I realized a long time ago that this show does not cheat. There are many shows where it will look like the hero is about to get caught, the bad guy is approaching his hiding spot, he checks behind and… the hero is nowhere to be seen. Breaking Bad doesn’t cheat like that. Like the showdown in the RV in the whatchamacallit lot. “This is a private domicile” and all. Walt and Jesse could’ve hidden somewhere in the RV, escaped out the roof, but they didn’t. Things make sense in this show. There’s no “How did that happen?”.
So, okay. No one really likes Skyler, do they? But when she did the dumb blonde thing for Ted and the IRS, she went way up in my books. Also, Ted and that rug, man. When he first trips over it going to answer the door, I thought, “Now what was the point of that?”, but I wrote it off as being a Throw It In. Poor guy.
Mike is just wonderful. Wonder what he’s going to do in the last season? And there were so many times when I was like, “Yep, he’s dead now”, and he wasn’t, and so many times when the rest of my family were like, “Yep, he’s dead now”, but I said, “No, they can’t, he’s too good!”, and he wasn’t.
“4 Days Out” was just so exhausting. It actually felt like four days. It’s just when characters get shit, after shit, after shit… it’s just gotta stop sometime. And in that episode, it did. not. stop.
But “Fly”… now, I don’t know the public’s consensus on that episode (I suspect some people will really like it), but I did not like it at all. Maybe there was something genius that I missed, but this one was just frustrating. And with Jesse on the ladder, my mom actually had to leave the room, she couldn’t watch. I don’t remember any particularly good dialogue from the episode, or any character development, or anything revealed that really stood out. All the episodes did kind of run together, so maybe watching it on its own would be better. I’ll have to watch it again some time and see if I still hate it.
I’m wondering about Jesse’s family, and in particular, his little brother. He’s got to have more of a purpose, right? Or maybe the actor did a Walt — er, the Lost Walt. Confusing. Anyway, it’s been long enough, we won’t remember what he looks like. They can just do a… god, I can’t think of a good example other than Nick Tilsley. The little sister from Boy Meets World? Anyway.
The episode when Gus invites Walt to his house, when they go into the kitchen, I don’t remember what it was exactly that made me think it, but I suddenly thought Gus was gay. (So he cooks? Stereotypical, I know). I had forgotten about it until today during the episode with the cartel meeting and Don Eliado says “bring out the girls!”, then my dad mentioned something about Gus not liking the girls. A-ha? I googled it, and it looks like a few people had the same idea as me. Official word apparently is that it’s “open to interpretation”, which in my mind, basically confirms it. However, they don’t go right out and confirm it, because certain types of people will say “Well, I don’t like this show any more!”. But in my mind, he was gay. It’s satisfying. I like the idea that he was gay, and there was no deal about it. Some people have theories about him having a relationship with his old partner or Gale, but I didn’t see anything like that. Wasn’t Gale surprised when Gus visited him that one time? Also, if Gale had a thing for anyone, it was Walt.
Speaking of Gale, I didn’t care for him at all. I mean, it was sad to see him die, but you knew he had to die. How else would Walt live? It was very cool how it all happened. And then when they showed the flashback of him in the season premiere, you knew that meant he was dead. You don’t show flashbacks of a supporting character unless you are killing them off, because it’s the last time you can explain it. Also makes for sympathy. I think they did that a couple times on Lost. Nikki and Paulo, of course. Then Dan died in his only centric episode, right? I think Shannon too? Danielle’s flashback/time jump/whatever had to be around the time she died, didn’t it? “Ab Aeterno” should’ve spelt death for Richard, but come on, he was just too awesome. Oh, and Jacob, too.
I was thinking for awhile that there aren’t really any strong female characters. Jane was, for awhile. I quite liked her. Until the drugs. Skyler, Marie, Jane, they are all flawed… but Walt, Jesse, Gus, and Hank aren’t? Of course not. Everyone in this show is pretty messed up (except maybe Walt Jr.). But there are no gals in the drug business! (Wendy’s about as close as it gets). Which, that’s probably reflective of real life. There have to be some chicks in the business though, right? (Come on, Skyler!)
I found some discussion on whether Skyler is a strong character or not. I mean, she does a lot of dumb things (mostly involving Ted), but a lot of the time, she’s right. But we don’t like her because we like Walt and she’s spoiling Walt’s fun. She must be strong, right? ‘Cause she’s not weak. But I don’t know, when I think of “strong female character”, I don’t feel like that means “strong” as in “tough”. It’s more like a good, likable, bad ass character.
Oh yeah, speaking of Skyler, are we going to ever find out if she smoked during her first pregnancy or what? I think that’s something that we just have to assume, rather than having it spelled out for us. (Is there a Whisper Explanation trope? “We’re the ones who can’t move on.” This needs to be a thing.)
So, Walt’s first deal with Gus, while Holly’s getting born. It all happens very fast, and we don’t see the actual deal. We see Walt in a vacant hotel parking lot and throwing a spare tire out the back of his car. I did not see him put the cash where the tire used to be, so ever since that episode, I’ve been all “What was the deal with the tire?! Why did he throw it out?!”. Disappointed that this was not important.
Another thing I noticed about this show: most mysteries get wrapped up in the same episode. We see Walt bleeding on his shoes at the beginning? At the end, we see him fighting with Jesse (or whoever he fought with that time). We get it now. We see blood in the pool at the beginning? We see how it gets there by the end. The only thing that didn’t really happen like this was with the pink bear in the pool, the plane crash stuff. And HOW disappointing was that? I mean, I get its ramifications, and the deal with Jane’s dad, and you can see Walt’s guilt, and the constant reminder with the ribbons, and all, but really? That was like a cop-out.
Oh, and what’s the deal with Gus before ’89 or whenever, hmm? I’m guessing if we learn about it in the final season, either they’ve known the story all along and it will be awesome, or they ran out of material and needed to make something up and it will be terrible. If they don’t show it, then it’s going to be awesome, because they have enough other awesomeness that they don’t need to show that.
Also, there’ve been a few scenes with some untranslated Spanish. Particularly when the message was written on the bucket, “Ready to talk?” or whatever, and I said, “Come on, translation for the Canadians”. I mean, really. We subtitle all the French we put in our shows! You need to subtitle the Spanish for us, merci, senors?
So the other show I am currently watching regularly is Coronation Street, and it is SO refreshing to have people calling for their lawyers all the time on this show! (Damnit, Fiz!) How could I not mention Saul? He’s great, of course. What else can I say about him? He’s just awesome. (Also, been rewatching Community — and who shows up there? Badger!)
Alsooo, Elliott and Gretchen? Are those their names? Deffo have to come back, unless there’s some deal with the actors. I mean, eyebrows guy came back from the first season, and who thought you’d see him again? Also, that flashback with Walt and Gretchen, that didn’t seem to be explained, did it? Also, they were doing it back then, or what?
And OH MY GOD, someone pointed out Marie and purple awhile ago, and ever since then, when I see purple I… see red. Ah, man! That is… dedication. Frustration. So much purple drives me crazy. I mean, I like green, but I do not have a green corkscrew-getter-offer-thing.
And I am still waiting to see that Tampico commercial. Right before/after another one of Saul’s? Come on. Please show it. Also, I am shocked no one has put one on YouTube!
Oh, so every once in awhile, characters like to go off on some mostly pointless story. Like Walt talking about his only memory of his dad; that particular story I didn’t mind, but my dad made a comment about “Come on, Walt, no one cares!”. This happens a lot in rehab, I think, but lots of characters have done it. Annoying.
Also, how many making meth montages did we need to see the first two seasons?
So I have a mini theory. I think something has to happen with Jesse and Holly. Him being so protective of kids and all. He’s going to have to save Holly and Walt will fail. Or something.
And season five. Walt has to die at the end. I think it will be the cancer. I don’t think Jesse will die. He has to find out about Jane though. Hank has to find out about Walt. Walt Jr. probably too. At the beginning, I was sure Hank would die at some point, but now, I’m not so sure. Walt will not go to jail for any period of time during the season, other than maybe for something unrelated. There has to be some point to Hank’s minerals, unless I am not getting it. Most of these are pretty obvious, but you never know what could happen.
Anyway, I seriously need to get to sleep.