I think I've figured out why I can't write songs.
I started to write one last night that used a bunch of strange, unrelated things from some dreams I've had. I wanted it to be one whole song that didn't really make any sense. But then it started to get too long, so it's two songs now. Well, it's not really long. Two verses for one and one verse for the other. But I really only wanted to say it in one line, you know?
The main reason why I can't write songs is that I want to write Stairway to Heaven. The End. My Generation. You know, some big landmark song like that. *I*, *little* old me, wants to write Stairway to Heaven. And I just can't. That's just not the way my brain works. I am just not meant to be a musician. I'm left brained. I'm logical. I'm analytical. I'm mathematical. I'm not creative. I'm not artsy.
I think maybe I play drums because I'm uncreative. I mean, nothing against drummers, but it's easier to improvise on drums than on guitar. You've got like seven, eight things you can hit. On a guitar you've got six strings and twenty some odd frets. That's a lot of different notes.
I opened up the beginning of my rock opera in Guitar Pro. I think it sounds all right instrumentally, music wise, but I just can't think of lyrics for it. It's hard to tell a story without words. Well, I mean, it's possible. But *I* personally can't. I can't express myself in music or pictures. I need words. I have a hard time understanding things that are said instrumentally or in a picture. That's why I can't appreciate art museum, orchestras, fine arts. I need words.
It's strange, you know. I suppose I could understand a story that was just instruments. I'd get the general idea.
When I was little I'd play on the keyboard a lot. I made up a sort of musical story. I think it was like Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Well, nothing like the plot, really. But there was the dad, those were the low notes, the mom, she had the middle notes, and the baby who had the high notes. And it always ended in some sort of big orchestral A Day In The Life thing. You would have the dad voice say something, then the mom, then the baby, then all three ranges of notes come in together and create a sort of awful sound, like a fight or something.
Then, it's over. Silence.
Then the baby voice speaks up again and preaches peace.
Then they all live happily ever after.
I don't know. Something like that. It was always the same thing. I don't know why exactly the story was like that. I mean, my parents never fought. I've had a totally normal life. Well, probably not normal. I've had a really good family life. A lot of people probably haven't.
You could probably say my life is pretty boring. Sometimes I want something bad to happen, just to have a little more excitement in my life. No, no, I don't mean that. Something EXCITING. Not bad. That sounds awful. I'd never want anyone to die or anything. I mean… Death. I hate death. I fear death. I despise death. And yet… I don't know death. Wow. Deep… whoa.