My brother said to me the other day "did you know Joanie Loves Chachi is on TV Land?"
"Oh, that's nice" I say.
Then "wait, are you serious? You're kidding right? Shit head! Don't do that. You're kidding?"
He says he's telling the truth, but I of course, don't believe him. No one in their right mind would play a show with only 17 episodes on TV ever again.
But, just to be safe, I grab the remote. And there it is. "Joanie Loves…" says the guide.
"EEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" says I.
After watching the show, I regretted my "eek". It wasn't worth it.
Now, I love Scott Baio. He's totally hot. But that was the only thing worth watching for. He was at the exact right cute age. I mean, he wasn't little five year old Chachi, which would just seem weird if I liked him, and he wasn't the nerd from the first season of Charles In Charge yet. He was just marvellous.
But serious. I like bad movies. I like Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band for Tork's sake!
But Joanie Loves Chachi… was just… bad.
I mean, I laughed at a few things, but very few, and it was more of a "ooh that was painful" laugh than an "I enjoyed that" laughed.
And Joanie. I mean. Ugh. I really don't like her. It's obvious why it wasn't called Chachi Loves Joanie. Because she's just annoying.
It was the episode where a member of their band, Annette, the ugly fat girl, meets this boring guy and they decide to get married. Joanie's all "oh, true love, weddings, it's all so beautiful!" How ANNOYING. I don't like romantic perfect fantasy type people like her who go on and on about love and blah blah shit cakes. Because it's stupid.
So anyway, the guy hits on Joanie, so then she and Chachi try to convince Annette to call off the wedding, but she's all "no, you guys are just jealous" and later "oh, well, this may be my only chance to get married because I'm already 19 and I'm an ugly old maid!" But then somehow they convince her not to do it. I don't remember how. It was probably a stupid plan. And I really don't care.
And it's ironic, you know? Just the other week I was all "Joanie Loves Chachi will never be on TV ever, and I'll never see it, but I love it!"
I take that back. All of it.