Cool Cherry Cream

Friday, October 13, 2006 at Avalon Ballroom, Niagara Falls, Ontario

We're waiting outside the Avalon Ballroom. The tickets say "MUST BE 19 YEARS OR OLDER". Hmm… this is reminiscent of my Davy Jones concert. But when we got there, there were little kids all over the place, so we were fine. But now. No. There's no young kids. There's all old guys wearing black make up. No. This is a different crowd.

I wonder if anyone else there saw Jerry Lee Lewis…?

I came up with a plan: if they didn't let us in, my brother and I would start crying and say that we like Alice Cooper so much that we even watched Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band! That was sure to get us in!

Anyway. Dad shows up and we go in without a problem. I wasn't worried. Of course, I wouldn't have been too upset if we didn't get in, since I wasn't really looking forward to it. But for a little while I wasn't looking forward to CSNY and they turned out to be really super awesome. My favourite concert, up until The Who, of course. ;)

So we go in. Get to our seats. I'm sitting with mom on the balcony; my dad and my brother are on the floor, eight or so rows back. Pretty good seats, if I do say so myself. Of course, not as close as Jerry, but still really good.

Here he is. Alice Cooper. My first thoughts?

"WE'RE NOT WORTHY!"

Okay. So I didn't actually say it. I hadn't even been thinking about it. But as soon as I saw him, there it was. Hah hah. My brother told me someone near them was yelling that. Hah hah. What losers.

I don't really like concerts where I don't know the songs. I'd only heard about four of the songs he played, so that kinda sucked. But I still enjoyed it. And I really thought I wasn't going to.

During the Ringo concert, my mind was on other things, so I couldn't enjoy it. I was afraid my mind would be on other things today, but I didn't dwell on it. He put on quite a show, I was captivated. Ooh, big word.

It was very theatrical. He had all kinds of props and stuff. He threw necklaces and dollars and balloons into the audience.

There was one point where some strange vampire type chick was dancing around onstage, and then she got Alice into a corner and made him disappear! Of course, it was pretty obvious where he went, but still a nice touch.

At the beginning of the show, I noticed a trash can and some doll in front of the drums. I realized it was just a doll and not a real person, so it wouldn't jump out at us. But then… it's alive! Of course, again obvious what happened, what with the lights going down after every song. But again, entertaining. She started doing a ballet type dance all around the stage, and it was quite confusing. I'm not one for interpretive dance.

Now, one thing that bothered me. I think it was the song "Lost in America". It goes something like this:

I ain't got a girl 'cause I ain't got a car
I ain't got a car 'cause I ain't got a job
I ain't got a job 'cause I ain't got a car
So I'm looking for a girl and a car and a job
Alice Cooper, "Lost in America"

Whoa… he's really deep.

Anyway. And then he plays "I'm Eighteen" a little later. I figure he must have written a good chunk of these songs when he was eighteen, because that's what it sounds like.

It's kind of like The Who singing "hope I die before I get old", you know what I mean? But of course, it's fine when The Who does it, but not Alice Cooper, oh no. But it still bothered me. And again, like Jerry Lee Lewis singing "Sweet Little Sixteen", but I mean, it's fine for him to do that, because, well, he's Jerry Lee Lewis. Come on!

I noticed, I believe during "The Ballad of Dwight Fry" that he was sitting right in front of the crowd in his little strait jacket, and people are like right up in his face with their little camera phones! Man, that would be a cool picture.

"Hey guys, check out my pictures. Here's me at the zoo, here's a pylon in a tree…" — "Hey, who's that?" — "Oh, that's just my friend…" — "ALICE COOPER?!?" — "Right, that's his name"

So then these weird mummies or zombies or something come and get him and then the garbage can chick comes out with a big thing under a blanket, and then they're like "WHAT SHOULD WE DO TO HIM? SHOULD WE BURN HIM? NOOOOOOO! SHOULD WE HANG HIM? NOOOOOO! GUILLOTINE, GUILLOTINE, GUILLOTINE!!!" My brother said everyone was yelling "GUILLOTINE!" except this one guy who's like in this sad little voice "let him go!"

So they uncover the guillotine and stick his head through and CHOP! YAY!!!

The girl dances around with his head, and then sticks it onto this headless zombie. And then it comes to life! It's Alice! He's alive! YAY! BRRRRRRIIIIIIIIING! Schoooooooool's OUT! FOR! SUMMER!

At the end, he introduced all the band guys, and then the doll dead girl came out dressed as Paris Hilton and was all prancing around the stage with her little dog and stuff and throwing a tantrum. And then he's like "my daughter - Calico Cooper!" and I was like "HUH?" So yeah. That was strange. I didn't quite get the Paris Hilton bit.

So yeah. It was pretty cool. Lights were really good. Very entertaining. Very loud. My ears were ringing when I was trying to sleep and I was afraid I might have gone deaf. Heh.

SET LIST

1. Wicked Young Man
2. No More Mr. Nice Guy
3. Dirty Diamonds
4. Billion Dollar Babies
5. Be My Lover
6. Lost In America
7. Guilty
8. I Never Cry
9. Woman Of Mass Distraction
10. I'm Eighteen
11. You Drive Me Nervous
12. Is It My Body
13. Go To Hell
14. Black Widow Jam
15. Feed My Frankenstein
16. Welcome To My Nightmare
17. The Piece
    • The Awakening
    • Steven
    • Only Women Bleed
    • Steven
    • The Ballad Of Dwight Fry
    • Killer
18. I Love The Dead
19. School's Out
20. Poison
21. I Wish I Were Born In Beverly Hills
22. Under My Wheels