Cool Cherry Cream

Monday, August 18, 1969 (10:00 AM)

It's been a long time since we last left our heroes. Nearly a day. Or seven months, if you want to get technical about it.

Most of the hippies had left the farm, not realizing there was still another glorious week of music planned, featuring such artists as The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and Right Said Fred.

Unfortunately, many of these acts did not have their turn in the spotlight at Woodstock. The hippies had to get back to their jobs, after all. (Ba dum cssssh!)

By the time Jimi Hendrix took the stage, the five hundred thousand some odd (and I mean odd) hippies had shrunken to a measly eighty thousand.

"Hey guys, what are we going to do when the show is over? Where are we going to stay?" Jada asked.

"We could go back to my place," Farmer Glen suggested.

Jada giggled. "Glennard!" she scolded, "not in front of the children!"

"But isn't that a little far away?" Alysse asked.

"Nah, it's just next door," Farmer Glen said.

You see, Woodstock was on a farm, and Farmer Glen is a farmer, so he lives on a farm as well, and since farms often flock together, like pigeons, it makes sense that Farmer Glen would live nearby. After all, Farmer Glen is just a purely fictional character, thought up because the band needed a singer. Right?

"No no no," Jenny said, "Farmer Glen is really - " she began to reveal his identity, but Jada strangled her before she could say anything incriminating.

"Cool! We'll go back to your place then… Farmer Glen…" Jada said happily.

I wanna take you home
I won't do you no harm, no
You've got to be all mine, all mine
Ooh, foxy –

"DAVY!" Jenny chanted.

"Huh?" Alysse asked.

Jimi Hendrix glared at Jenny for interrupting his song, but nevertheless, he carried on (taking the good advice of his friends CSNY, of course).

I've made up my mind
I'm tired of wasting all my precious time
You've got to be all mine, all mine
Foxy –

"DAVY!" Jenny cried once again, and started dancing around a la Garth Algar.

Jimi was so frustrated with this little Monkees fan that he threw his guitar down and stomped off the stage.

"BOOO!" the crowd booed, "WE WANT HEN-DRIX! WE WANT HEN-DRIX!"

Suddenly, Crosby ran onto the stage and grabbed the microphone. "Good night, Woodfield! There will be no encore!" he yelled, and ran off amidst even louder protests.

"Jenny!" Jada gasped. "You single handedly ended Woodstock! HOW COULD YOU!?!?"

"Well, you see, I just yelled 'Davy' whenever he said 'Lady' and - "

"WHY YOU LITTLE - !" Jada cried and proceeded to strangle Jenny once again.

"Guys, guys!" Patrick said, "as much as I enjoy people harming my sister… you need to stop it! Let's just go back to Glen's place, okay?"

And so they did.

Jada approached the front door and turned the door knob, but suddenly, she jumped back. "JUMPIN' JACK FLASH! THAT DOOR KNOB IS SCORCHING HOT!" she cried. She tried several more times to open the door, making her burnt hand increasingly worse each time. "What could be the problem?" she wondered aloud.

Eventually, she was successful in opening the door, and she ran inside.

"The house is on fire!" she cried.

She ran back out of the house and looked up at the barn. There were flames shooting out from all directions.

"Those dirty hippies set fire to your barn, Farmer Glen!" Alysse cried. "Why I oughta — !"

"Jenny! This is all your fault!" Jada screamed.

"My fault? Why my fault?" Jenny asked incredulously.

"You just had to have your little feud with Jimi Hendrix, didn't you?!?"

"Oh wow, what a bummer," Farmer Glen said, "I guess we'll have to go find somewhere else."

"Right," Patrick said. They made their way back to the farm, where quite a few hippies were still milling around, unaware that the festivities were over. They tried, unsuccessfully, to find someone that would let their band tag along. Everyone refused to let Jenny stay with them. The Farmhands decided to split up to cover more ground.

After awhile, Farmer Glen gathered the others together. "Hey guys! I think I found someone we can stay with!"

"Sick!" Jada said, "how did you do it?"

Farmer Glen winked at her and smiled slyly. "Ohh, I have my way. Hey! Here she comes!"

A strange woman approached Farmer Glen. "Glennard, daaaahhhhling!" she cried, throwing her arms around him. Jada snarled.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet Miss Grace Slick, of Jefferson Starsh — I mean, Jefferson Airplane" Farmer Glen said.

"Pleased to meet you," Alysse said and shook her hand, with the other band members following suit. Grace approached Jada, but Jada backed away.

"Hello," she said coldly. Grace was confused, but she shrugged it off, since, hey, Jada was a pretty weird kid.

"You guys can stay with the rest of my band at our hotel. There's a lot of other performers staying there as well, so we're having a big party tonight!" she told them.

"Cool!" Patrick said, pumping his fist in the air, "Par-ty! Par-ty!"

"Hey — did you guys hear there was some kid that pissed off Jimi Hendrix?" she asked, "boy… if I ever get my hands on them…"

"Eh heh heh heh…" Jenny laughed nervously. That Grace Slick could be a pretty menacing character. "Right, let's go!" Jenny said. And so they did.