Cool Cherry Cream

Guh. I should’ve just stayed home today. I didn’t really do anything. But lots of people gave me lots of goodies. Yay.

Anyway, we had the Christmas Variety Show today. Although, it’s probably actually called the Winter Variety Show or Holiday Variety Show. I don’t know.

You know, about that whole thing. If someone says to me “Happy Hanukkah” or “Happy Kwanzaa” or whatever, *I* would not be offended. So if I say “Happy Christmas” to someone, I’m not trying to offend them. I mean, to me, it’s just all equivalent. But I mean, I’m not religious, so it might be different for people who are, and I should probably just shut up.

So. Variety Show. It wasn’t that good. I don’t know if I’ve seen any of the previous ones. I know I missed the one last year (or the year before?) because I remember watching the video in Communications, but not remembering being there. So I don’t really know what to compare it to.

First off, they take WAAAAAY too long to set up! They should seriously be ready to go when we get there. And while it was nice that we got to listen to Johnny boy while waiting, I still would have rather it just started. Now.

Anyway, then it started. The first act was a girl singing “A Moment Like This”. Quite honestly, I could throw out a Simon insult here, but I won’t, because she’s still much better than I am and I’m not really a mean person. But it sounded like she was nervous. Or maybe that’s just how people sing now. I know the new pop people are all nasally sounded and it’s really just awful. I really noticed that when I watched that “High School Musically” movie (yes, stop laughing now). That boy, oh god. I can still hear it now. “We’re SOAR-IN! FLY-IN!” Ugh! Just SHUT UP! NOW! You can’t sing.

So, I think then was the guy with the guitar. He said he wrote the song in five minutes or something, which is just not something you say. It doesn’t make it any better if it’s crap. So just shut up and play the song. Don’t tell us that you think it’s crappy, because then we’ll think it’s crappy. Also, most of it was a sort of finger picking lead guitar type stuff, but when he starts doing rhythm and chords everyone is like WOOOOO! And I’m like WTF people, chords are so easy to play. Cheer when he’s doing the finger picking, that is MUCH more complicated. Stupid people.

Then there was an intermission. I know, WTF, after two acts? Yes. That is the way our school works.

Anyway, the girl they had MC’ing the “intermission” which was really a bunch of contests should’ve MC’ed the whole thing. She had a loud voice and you could actually understand her. I think she’s done bits of MC’ing for other shows, and I’ve probably thought that before. Man, I really should be on Student Council or something.

So, she says the first five people on the stage can be in a contest. You have to name ten Christmas songs in ten seconds. So, they get their five people. And she says “okay, GO!” And the person starts NAMING OFF SONGS. I mean, WTF. There is so many things wrong with that. One, it’s not fun. Two, easy to cheat.

*I* thought they were going to play clips of Christmas songs and you’d have to guess what it was. Which would have been SO much BETTER! But no.

And, also, not one person (that I heard) said “Happy Xmas (War is Over)”, “Wonderful Christmastime”, “Ding Dong Ding Dong”, or “Christmas Time is Here Again”. I mean. WTF. Also, “Christmas” by The Who would be good, as would “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”. But no. Not one person. NOT ONE.

So, then they had two dance contests. Apparently, the first was for bad dancers and the second was for good dancers, but the bad dancers spilled over into the good dancers. Also, the one girl that won the good dancers contest, I mean, she hardly even moved. She was obviously one of the popular kids. As expected, they always win. Though the one kid that did the Moonwalk, if he did it a little longer or did it when it was his turn for the cheers, he would have had it. What a dumbass. I should be his manager. He could go places.

So then the GAC and BAC did the thing where you sit on the other person’s legs, and it was a workout sort of thing. And this is A LOT more disturbing then when I saw the teachers in elementary school do it. Also, a lot more disorganized. So, yeah. Yawn.

There had to have been more acts, but I can’t remember. Maybe not.

At the end they had two guys beat-boxing. And it went on way too long. Just, that’s it. Too long. Thanks. We get it. Thanks. Next!

So yeah, pretty lame. But they always are. And I knew it.