Cool Cherry Cream

Looking through the backyard of my life

I was rereading Hamlet the other day… it's about this Danish prince… and then the Queen drinks the poison, and she dies…

No, sorry. That's The Monkees. But… this is too. Sort of.

I was rereading "The Long Sandy Hair of Neftoon Zamora" the other day. I'm definitely understanding it a lot more now, and recognizing things that have to do with Mike's life. I suppose I'll have to re-read "The Boy Who Heard Music" in a few years and I'll understand more. I mean, I think I recognized a lot of the stuff from Pete's life, but I'm sure there's more, seeing as I haven't listened to Psychoderelict or a bunch of his solo stuff yet.

I was kind of upset, because I was watching "The Devil and Peter Tork" the other day, and Mike does this great speech about how the devil didn't give Peter the power to play the harp, that the power was inside him all along. "If you love music, you can play music" he says. "Some people say 'I can't carry a tune', but man, if you love music, you can play music". So I think "yay! I can't carry a tune, but I love music, so I can be a singer!" I mean, look at Janis, Bob, Neil… lots of people who don't have the greatest voices, but make great music.

But then, the upset part came. I was reading "Neftoon" and Nez is talking to this guy who says he wanted to be a blues singer, but he couldn't sing. And you know what Nez says? He says "oh, well, that would be a problem"!

Whatever happened to "if you love music, you can play music"? Man! Come on! Thanks for dashing my hopes, Michael.

Also, I hate that I think so much. I'll be reading the book and then one word will jump out at me and I'll go off on a thinking tangent about something completely unrelated, then have to reread the page. For some reason, probably about the time Nez was falling in love with Neffie, I started thinking about people I had crushes on when I was really little. And I came to the conclusion I was completely and utterly blatantly obvious.

I mean, there is this one kid who I never ever talked to who I thought was cute, and I invited him to my pool party! Now, he was moving at the time, so he didn't come, and I think it was probably for the best. Also, I have a theory that he actually could have come to my party, but he didn't want to, because he didn't know me, and he probably thought I was joking inviting him, because I think he was a bit of a nerd.

And there was this one time when one of my friends came over and we were playing dress up and pretending we were going to a prom or something, and she asked who my date was, and I said that guy that I had a crush on! But I said it in a joking way, and she laughed, and I laughed, and we all just thought it was a joke.

There was this one boy who sat beside me, and I remember he asked me to use my highlighters or whatever every once in awhile, and it always made me happy. He probably thought I was an idiot. I don't remember ever blushing or being embarrassed or giggly or anything, but I have a feeling I probably was.

Thinking back now, I seemed to like the nerds a lot. Heh. Well, I mean, looking at Mike, Pete… all these people looked like nerds when they were young. And now look at them! I mean, not *now*, heh, I mean, in the 60s. Heh. Well, actually, some people would argue they still were nerds. Oh well. I guess I just like nerds, then.

It also occurred to me that I haven't had a crush on anyone for a long time. I mean, there was this one guy who I talked to once last year or the year before, but I don't know his name, and I haven't seen him in a long time, so I think he must have moved.

You know, it's kind of unsettling that my only crushes for quite awhile have been Keith Moon and the like. Am I that far gone in my little dream world? And, is this going to cause my standards to be way too high for normal people to ever achieve? Well, unless they have a British accent, that is. Then nothing else matters. Heh.

I also got to thinking about this one time in middle school. I don't remember if it was grade seven or eight, and it's really bothering me. It must have been eight. I was with Heather and Cindy, and I didn't hang out with them until grade eight, did I? But our lockers shouldn't have been at the end of the hall… huh. Oh well, anyway. More of me being blatantly stupid. We were at our lockers and someone, I'm thinking Syd or Mark, threw my pencil case into the boy's bathroom. So, me being so bold, went in to retrieve it. I didn't even think about it. But when I went it, there was a boy in there! Actually, I think he handed the pencil case to me. For some reason, I seem to remember he was getting changed or something. Oh god, if that happened to me, I would be mortified, and I could never look at that person again. But I don't remember who it was at all. I don't think I even knew him. I don't know if guys are like that though, they might not even care. But geez, that was a really really stupid thing to do.

I'm trying to decide if I would still do that today. My first instinct is yes, but I don't know. The people in my school now are scarier than they were in middle school, so I don't think I would. Heh.

So I'm pretty tired. I was up late thinking about things. When I was little, I would always point at things and say "sa?", which is a shortened version of "what's that?". I was always a really curious little kid. And I guess I still am. Among remembering stupid things I have said or done, which is one of my least favourite pastimes, but one that occurs often, I also came up with some strange questions about life and just things.

I guess I'll have to look it up on Wikipedia.