I've not really been in much of a writing mood lately. I think back to last year, when I wrote every single day, and wonder how the hell I managed that. I guess I just forced myself to write even when I had nothing to say. And I think most times that I started out with nothing to say, I ended up with something, maybe not profound, but at least worthwhile.
But I've noticed lately that sometimes I do feel like writing, but then decide against it because it's too personal and I don't feel like sharing it with the world, on my blog, where anyone could read it, you know? I guess I'm just realizing the reason that no one else I know has a blog: they are sane.
Unreasonable paranoia factors in there somewhere. I feel that I can't write, for example, "that presentation today sucked" because, despite the people in said presentation probably not knowing my website address, it's possible that they could, at any point in their life, somehow happen upon this blog and realize that I think they're silly.
Sometimes I might be in a wild mood and feel like writing out my exact thoughts about Alex Van Halen, but then I realize my parents might read this and I don't quite feel like writing it anymore. (Disclaimer, in case my parents are reading this: This is a completely hypothetical example, you see, as I believe Alex to be an extraordinary drummer and that is absolutely all that I think about him.)
Then sometimes I realize that no one cares about what I want to write about — such as Alex for example — except for me. In fact, the other day I was discussing Van Halen with my brother, and he's like "yeah, Dave and Eddie [something something]" and I'm like "and ALEX!". I've decided that from now on, when I mention the members of Van Halen, I shall say Alex, Eddie, Dave, Mike, and Alex. And then when someone points out "you already said Alex" I'll say "people always leave him out, so I always mention him twice".
Anyway. I've tried in the past writing private blogs elsewhere, but never really kept up with it. Maybe because I'm an attention whore and these private blogs get no attention, so I don't want to write there. That's probably it. But I think if I decide to have a private blog, or at least an anonymous one, I need to discontinue this blog.
Not that this is the end or anything, since I don't know if I could ever go through with abandoning this blog. It's just something I've been considering for awhile.
I also find it rather strange that I'm writing about this here, but I suppose this is the only place that I can.