Cool Cherry Cream

And so the saga of my period one class continues.

I managed to track down the peer tutoring teacher today and filled out the form with all the "why are you taking this class?" type questions. I put French as my preferred subject to teach and she told me there were two French classes during that period: one applied French class with a teacher who I don't know and one alter-ed French class (which she said was people who are "very low functioning in French") with my grade 10/12 teacher. I wasn't sure exactly what the alter-ed class would be like, so I was nervous about, and I didn't know the other teacher, so I was nervous about that too. She suggested I try the applied class first since it was a bigger class and so the teacher would probably need more help.

Off I went, still not entirely sure which class I was going to choose even when I was standing right in front of them. Well, the applied class was the first one I came across (which was actually done by my devising, as I chose to go down to the end of the hallway and then upstairs rather than up the stairs by my locker, which would've led me to the other class first), and the teacher did say to try there first, so I did.

I looked in and knocked and said something terribly fast and probably hoarsely (what with my cold): "hi, I'm from the peer tutoring class, and I don't know if this is a good time, but I wanted to know if you wanted a peer tutor for this class?". It was awkward, to say the least. She was in the middle of talking to the class and everyone was kind of looking at me. She said "let's go out into the hall". We now are all aware that that means bad, if my experience last week if anything to go by. Some of the kids in the class were laughing and saying something like "no, she doesn't want you". I don't think it was a "you" specifically thing, it was just a "she doesn't want anybody".

I don't know this teacher, but what I have heard about her hasn't been the best. But I always figured, well, students just naturally don't like their teachers, so she's probably just like any other teacher. But now, that through my own experiences, I can say she did give off the vibe that is she is typically described of having. Of course, I will still give her the benefit of the doubt; after all, I did just interrupt her class.

"I don't quite understand how this peer tutoring thing works — Who is your teacher? — What are you supposed to do?" I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition (obviously), so I said something like "if you don't need a peer tutor, that's fine", hoping to get out of answering the question, but I guess she must've asked me again or told me to go on, because I stuttered about "well, umm, this is my first day in the class, so I don't really know yet, but umm, they like help out and stuff, and like… umm, I'm not really sure… like taking attendance and like running errands… umm they can like help students when you're doing stuff and they can do other stuff like umm… stuff like that, but I don't really know yet".

"Are they there the whole semester?" Yes. "The whole period?" Yes. "Every day?" Yes. Well, umm, I think so, I mean, this is just my first day and all. From these questions, I figured that she's had a peer tutor in the past who never showed up (since I can remember peer tutors in grade nine as such), but my sources say she hasn't.

"I'm not really sure if I need you for this class yet, so come back tomorrow morning and I'll let you know". Oh, umm… okay… thanks…

I was kind of upset the other day when my website layout design was rejected in a contest. Didn't make me feel all that good. But I mean, that's what rejection is.

However, I am really *hoping* for a rejection tomorrow morning.

However, although it looks like she is going to say no, I'm fairly certain she is going to say yes, because my life just needs more fucking misery in it, doesn't it?

Actually, thinking about it now, I can't remember exactly why I wanted her to say no, other than it being awkward at the beginning if I were going to be in her class. I don't really want to think about it though. That's how I've been handling this whole peer tutoring thing; this weekend, I kept remembering "oh no, I have to go find that teacher for peer tutoring on Monday", but I immediately made myself stop, which was pretty awesome. I wish I could stop myself thinking more often. Turns out I didn't have to worry at all about finding the teacher, as that was actually fairly simple, and she seems pretty cool.

I don't know why, but I do feel everything happens for a reason. Don't ask me how I think this happens, though, because I have no idea. My logic tells me there's no way things like this could be controlled, but experience shows me that things just work out in the end. During a lot of my past classes, I felt like I was learning nothing, but later on I realize it was actually worth it. So you know, this could be worth it.

But honestly, at this point in my high school career, I'd rather take the no-misery class and not learn anything, rather than the stressful class that there's a chance I could learn something in. There's also the chance that I won't learn anything in that class, and from what I've heard, that wouldn't be uncharacteristic considering the teacher. And that's also not to say that I wouldn't learn anything in the other class; I probably would learn something. But I'm really done with all the unnecessary stress that high school causes. It's no fun, and I just want to have fun.

I got my Alex Van Halen issue of "Modern Drummer" finally. And I was thinking, if someone asked me who my favourite drummers are, I know I would say "Keith Moon, John Bonham, and Alex Van Halen". And maybe "the guy from Boston". But I just feel saying Keith and John… it's just so clichéd. For one, I can't play anything Keith can, and thus saying he's my favourite makes me look stupid. But Keith is why I started drumming. But why did Keith make me start drumming? Okay, so he's funny and cute and all that. But he made it look fun. Why are John Bonham and Alex Van Halen also my favourite drummers? Because it's fun to play them. Why don't I like Joey Kramer? Because he plays the same thing every time. It's not fun to play him.

Fun. I just want to have fun. Is that too much to ask?