Cool Cherry Cream

I started talking about YouTube but went on to talk about all kinds of stuff

One of my friends at school was talking about video blogs and stuff (and hey! if you're reading this ;)) recently and about how nasty people can be and stuff. I'm no stranger to the YouTube trolls, I've had my foray doing fvlogs (my new word for fake video blogs).

I watched a few of my videos and realized they weren't as bad as I thought they were. Way back when I originally did them, I couldn't stand to watch myself, but now I guess I've kind of put it behind me and can watch it. Watching the videos has however confirmed that I absolutely hate the profile of my face. There's too much cheeks and my mouth sticks out. But I know no one likes to read about what people hate about how they look, so I'll leave it at that.

My first video got a ton of comments about what a bad actress I am. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about it, but I was playing a character who is nothing like me. And I was reading from a script that I didn't exactly have time to memorize, nor was the script written by me. I knew the person who wrote the script (and created the character) would be watching, so I didn't feel I could really change it around to how I wanted to play it. I didn't feel like the character belonged to me, I was just borrowing it, so I didn't want to change it.

I always seem to get these kinds of characters that are so unlike me. In the play in grade 10, I was (well, in my opinion, at least) the leader of a group of four female superheroes who lived in a retirement home along with a cast of other superheros. I don't remember if we had a collective name, but we each represented an element, and I was fire, so I think that makes me the leader. Like the red power ranger (before Tommy came in, I mean), you know? And since I was fire, I had a firey personality. I, along with the other three girls in my group, was in love with the main male superhero, and *I* was the one who had to say the line, which I totally forget, but which made shuffleboard (or some other old folk's sport) into a sexual thing.

The teacher who wrote the play said he had written the roles for each of us specifically — after our attempt at doing "Plan 9 From Outer Space" failed miserably — so that really confused me. Me! Of all the people in the play, the quietest, shyest one has to say this ridiculous line! And later when each of us elementals had to say one word from the sentence "you! are! a! bitch!" *I* of course had to say "bitch"!

Now the me of this blog has no problem with that. With any of that! But the real life me, the me around people? I think these things, but I don't say them. If I happen to be playing shuffleboard with Spiderman and the game happens to remind me of sex, I might make some witty "Three's Company" type comment in my mind, but I could never say it out loud!

So what was I talking about? Yeah, I don't know why people give me these characters. But they always do! Do they think I'm actually a good enough actress to be able to step out of my comfort zone and play this wacky not me character? Do they think I'm a terrible actress and want to see me struggle to play someone I'm not? I don't know! It doesn't make any sense!

And yeah, video blogs. I've always wanted to do those (real ones), but I just can't. I like making videos, editing videos. But there's not much to edit in video blogs, unless I want it to look like the Lonelygirl videos, with the jump cuts. I don't know if Lonelygirl was the original one to do that, but whenever I see jump cuts on YouTube, I think Lonelygirl. Which I'm proud to say, I've been clean of that series for many months. It got pretty terrible after Bree left. And Taylor! And Spencer! They were the coolest characters. It was hard. I didn't want to just stop watching in the middle of the series, even though I hadn't really been watching for a long time. Like when I happen to be downstairs when my mom is watching a TV show, I have absolutely no interest in the show, but once I've started watching it, I have to keep watching to see how it ends, you know?

But yeah. I want to do video blogs, but my Lonelygirl spinoff videos kind of put me off that. Plus, what if someone recognizes me? I'm supposed to be dead in that series! It kind of ruins the… the… suspension of disbelief? I don't know, some movie term. Anyway, I don't want that, because again, I don't own that character.

What else? Nothing to edit, check. Same person, different character, check. Oh yeah! Video blogs are boring! Again, with the one shot! Who wants to watch that? And what do I have to say? Nothing! (Disregard those five years of blog posts you might see on this site… they mean nothing…)

And even if I did have something to say, telling it to my camera, saying it aloud, it's going to sound stupid. Even though I wouldn't be using a script, I would still go over it in my head, figure out what I'm going to say, and it's going to sound rehearsed, and that looks stupid. If I was going to do a video blog, I'd have to take the camera and start talking, not even think what I would talk about. But then I'd have nothing to talk about, and I'd just be sitting there "hmm… well… yeah… I guess… yeah…". Booooring!

I have one little tape in my video camera that I've been using at various times for the past year or so when I see something interesting and want to tape it. One, because I might get some cool stuff, and two, to tape over my awful unedited fvlogs. Mostly it's boring stuff, like me throwing socks at my cat and him running around trying to catch them, or the reflection of some visualizations on Windows Media Player in my glasses, but there might be some neat stuff in there I've long since forgotten. I don't plan on watching it until I fill up the tape, which will be a long time yet.

A couple months ago, we had some orange ice cream (yum!) and some chocolate sauce and I put them together, but it was the wrong kind of chocolate sauce and it was really gross, so I ended up not eating it. I took it downstairs to pour it out in the sink, but then realized, why waste it? Why not tape it going down the drain? It looked pretty cool, all orange and brown and swirly like, and I poured it all down the drain. Then I realized I hadn't pressed record. That pissed me right off.

Anyway, I need to work on my Communications website project, which I'm still not quite done, and start work on my Flash project. And I really need to work on my Creative Writing stuff and think of some smart alecky response to the assignment she's given us today. So… ta ta.

No, wait, I lied. APRIL FOOLS AHAHAHA.

Speaking of that, I April Fooled myself today. Twice? Maybe?

The first time was in Peer Tutoring. I was marking the city projects the class did (drawing a map of a city and labelling it in French and fun stuff like that), which was pretty scary, because I mean, *I* am in charge of these kid's marks! Their actual marks! For a project! AHHH! But anyway, I had messed up when I wrote something down and needed to white it out, so I took out my white out but… no white stuff! I think I lent it out to a kid in my other Peer Tutoring class the day before, so they must've used it all up. I thought that maybe someone was playing a joke on me, so I quietly put it back in my pencil case and hoped that no one saw me looking at this white out thing like an idiot.

But the really funny thing that I'm sure it was actually me that did, was a nice email I got in my inbox. "i am coming to kill you" it said. Which would've been pretty scary, except for the header saying "You have received a message from FutureMe.org!". So yeah, that kind of spoiled it. But I remembered writing the email to myself and how absolutely hilarious I thought it was, and that made it all worth it.

But actually what I was going to talk about was drumming! BA DA DUM CSSSH! I saw the "Final 24" episode on Keith Moon the other day, which detailed the final 24 hours of his life, but of course, since that would be kind of boring, it's actually half about his entire life, which I think is kind of a jip. I saw the one on Jim Morrison a little while ago, and god was it annoying! At every commercial break, they make a lame little joke like "he's enjoying listening to music now, but in thirteen hours… the music will be over". Which, that one was actually slightly funny, because The Doors have a song called "When The Music's Over". Which is on the album "Strange Days", which I initially really hated, but I've realized there are actually a few good songs on it. But that show was just so annoying, because they used to same format for every joke, and made it sound so dramatic when it really wasn't.

But I was watching the Keith Moon one, and they showed Gene Krupa, who I've obviously heard of, since I'm a drummer myself. They said he influenced Keith Moon's style and they showed a clip of each of them side by side — and my god! He is just like Keith! Or rather, Keith's just like him! So much of his mannerisms, they were taken from Gene Krupa! It was, like, mindblowing! So yeah, now I think Gene Krupa's pretty damn cool.

I've been trying to say "damn" more recently rather than "the eff word" because even though I don't really have a problem with "the eff word", I realized it would be kind of hypocritical to use it all the time, because when other people use it all the time I think how they're overusing it and it kind of loses its effectiveness, you know? It's not that I'm wussing out or anything, because I'm not. I just like… I don't know. Maybe I am wussing out. I don't know, man.

So, that's that for my stream of consciousness blog of the day. I haven't done one quite like this in a long while. And it was kind of fun. Whenever I do these types of blogs, I like write real fast and have to backspace a lot because I always make stupid mistakes because I want to get it all out right away and it's like that when I'm typing and I know someone's watching, I always make dumb mistakes. And I used to always get pissed at people who would write something and make a mistake and keep writing, but then realize they made the mistake and backspace all this stuff just to fix the mistake, but now I do that too, so I've got to stop being hypocritical about that too.

Anyway, I really am done now. Should I look this blog over? Nah, let's just keep it in it's pure, unedited glory.