Cool Cherry Cream

Avoiding the inevitable

So I'm starting summer school tomorrow. At 8:00. Whereas I normally start school an hour later. And normally get up fifteen minutes before eight. But now I have to be ready by then, and gone. And especially early tomorrow because it's the first day.

I'm kind of looking forward to taking the bus. That should be fun. I've never taken the bus by myself before. I've lied about taking the bus before. Probably several times, actually.

But yeah. There are times when I think "hey! Maybe driving might actually be fun!" or "hey! Getting a bank card might actually be fun!" or "hey! Maybe getting a job might actually be fun!" and that's when I realize that I'm getting old.

Kids don't find shit like this fun. My kid self would be ashamed. My kid self made myself promise long long ago that I would get some stupid crappy job when I got older. And I haven't. Yet. And I still hold onto that little bit that tells me not to do it.

But then there's part of me that goes "oh, but so-and-so works here, and that isn't really that bad of a job, I could probably get a job like that, and that wouldn't be cheating, right?".

And sometimes I look back at my old blog entries and go "god, I was so stupid". I've also realized recently I sound a lot more emotional than I actually am. I think I'm doing that right now. I guess that makes me kind of fake. Which I'm okay with. I guess.

But yeah. Now I'm realizing that I'm wrong and my kid self was right. My kid self was always right. Even when it was wrong. Because my new self, hard as I try not to be, has been polluted by the man.

Before, I was too young for everything. And eventually, I'll be too old. Right now, I'm supposed to be just the right age. But, geez, it sure doesn't feel like it. I already feel like I'm too old.

Being young was so cool. Being able to write "Welcome to my insanely awesome site. My name is Jenny and I'm 13 years old" was amazing. Of course, when I was thirteen, my site wasn't really all that awesome. But people seemed to think it was. Maybe for thirteen it was. But I never thought it was. I still don't think it was. But now, there are so many other 18 year old Jennys with awesome websites that I just don't stand out.

I suppose I'll go read my "Grease" book. But first, I'll tell you about it, because it sucks. There are a ton of characters who don't really exist. Finn, Roger, Marsha. Putzie and Marty were kind of non-existent and replaced by the latter two. It was told from Sonny's point of view, which was kind of cool, and you think you would learn a bit more about Sonny, except that he was just turned into a second Danny.

But what I think was one of the biggest problems was Cha Cha. You know, the fat, ugly girl? Hold up. Nu-uh. Why did they have to rewrite her to be that? What was wrong with having Cha Cha and Danny win the contest, huh? It was just pointless. But reading that book originally, ten years ago, was what taught me another way to say the f-word. Actually, two different ways. Nice.

Ho hum.