There’s a lot we don’t understand as kids.
My brother likes to watch “Full House” for reasons I can’t comprehend. We were discussing the living arrangements in the house (where do the stairs in the kitchen lead? Don’t the stairs in the living room lead to the girls’ rooms? Then why are the girls always seen going up/down the kitchen stairs?) and the relationship of the characters, and I said I was pretty sure Joey was a friend of Danny’s and Jesse was actually his brother (in-law, actually).
My brother then wondered why the kids would call him “Uncle Joey” seeing as he isn’t really their uncle. Somehow this led to our inside joke phrase “call me Uncle Joey”, which — is it just me? — or does it have a slightly creepy connotation?
When I have a strange phrase, I like to Google it and see who else has had this particular phrase pop into their heads as well. There were about twenty other “call me Uncle Joey” pages, with only two I could see obviously pertaining to this Uncle Joey.
One of the results was a “Twilight” fanfiction. Now, I can tell when fanfics are written by preteen girls because they sound like what I wrote at that age.
We didn’t understand magnitude as kids. A character in this fanfic is described as someone who would “never be caught dead in anything less then a three star restaurant”.
Now, I don’t know what a three star restaurant constitutes, but on a presumed five star scale, I suppose it would be average. Most people don’t go to one and two star restaurants anyway. This sentence is writing a lot to say nothing about a person. They really intend to say they are snobby and rich and uptight, but think it’s better to write some bullshit than to actually put the words that they mean.
I made a similar mistake when I was younger. I was writing a Spice Girls fanfic, which was actually just a complete ripoff of another Spice Girls fic I’d read online. Anyway, Victoria was being a bitch because someone had ruined her dress, so she shouted “I’ll have you know I paid twenty pounds for this dress!!!”.
Yeah. I didn’t get the British monetary system.