Sounds
1. Pilot
[Listen] "...Not you, goon machine."
[Listen] "You see Buddy, this is why you're gonna die alone."
[Listen] "...The children know everything, Charles, we have cable TV"
[Listen] "...Female carbon unit..."
[Listen] "Dad, when you and mom were planning Douglas, what exactly did you have in mind?"
[Listen] "...Honey, I'm late..."
[Listen] "...Douglas, do you wanna see how to do it real fast?..."
[Listen] "...I ORDER TWO DISHES!"
[Listen] "...Why do numbers have to equal letters? I never hurt anybody!"
[Listen] "..."X" isn't gonna help you in life unless you're playing Scrabble!..."
2. Extra Curricular Activity
[Listen] "...Jason dies if he breaks anything..."
[Listen] "...Alright! Who stole my Incredible Hulk underoos?..."
[Listen] "...I plan to audition for the school band..."
[Listen] "...I did what you said, I tried my best..."
[Listen] "...Any "R" will do! It doesn't even have to be a capital!"
[Listen] "Now Buddy, think, what comes after Q?..."
3. Another Saturday Night
[Listen] "...He can fail miserably in his own home!"
[Listen] "I'm especially interested in what they're gonna do about the aliens..."
[Listen] "...Yeah, he's hated it about fifty times so far."
[Listen] "He lost! Does that mean Michael Jackson's not gonna sing now?..."
[Listen] "...Much like Jack the Ripper."
[Listen] "...Not in dog years!"
[Listen] "I go first!..."
[Listen] "...What can you do with a girl?..."
[Listen] "...They can't be held accountable for their state of evolution."
[Listen] "...Oh, I took it as a compliment."
4. War
[Listen] "...I may need a few days with her."
[Listen] "Ooooh... Charles... hospital..."
[Listen] "He took a shower and used my lucky towel!..."
[Listen] "...You be Switzerland, you be neutral."
[Listen] "Do not ruin this kiss for me, okay?..."
[Listen] "...Even Switzerland allows tourists, Megan."
[Listen] "...Let's see how tough you look in Barbie's prom dress!"
[Listen] "Now Switzerland is a great place to ski, and they make terrific cheese there..."
5. Cousin Elliott
[Listen] "...With nothing to fear but the wild animals..."
[Listen] "...Yeah, but I was complimenting my life..."
[Listen] "...Me, and Kilgor!"
[Listen] "...Every girl on campus in one spot at the same time..."
[Listen] "...To have a good time at all costs."
[Listen] "How 'bout, uh... Sociology 121: An Introduction to Alternative Lifestyles..."
[Listen] "Just snow... still snow..."
[Listen] "...You are sweet and you are lovely, and you're gonna stay that way all year..."
6. Slumber Party
[Listen] "So please don't mention women to me..."
[Listen] "Well, Charles it takes a long time before you can understand women..."
[Listen] "Harold Lempsky! Ewwwww!..."
[Listen] "...This is my room. This is not Montana."
[Listen] "We don't talk about crazy things. We just say what we feel..."
[Listen] "...I'm waiting for Mr. Ed."
7. Discipline
[Listen] "My book report. I got it back. Someone put an "F" on it..."
[Listen] "I hate school! I quit!..."
[Listen] "Jill, I don't wanna hear anything except "I'm ready"..."
[Listen] "...You talk to teachers every day!..."
[Listen] "TV Guide is read by over sixty million people every week..."
[Listen] "Where's your perfect place, Charles?..."
8. Trick or Treat
[Listen] "...He wants to be a Ghostbuster..."
[Listen] "Everything you do is for the women..."
[Listen] "I'm gonna name my first born after you..."
[Listen] "I have a very bad feeling about these sort of things..."
[Listen] "...Hi Charles! Like my socks?"
[Listen] "...I think she would anything. Once."
[Listen] "Charles, do you think Diana's still waiting for me?..."
9. A Date With Enid
[Listen] "...You've held off puberty for twelve years, what's one more day?"
[Listen] "...Lady Macbeth Red, The Lipstick That Won't Wash Off."
[Listen] "...He's a nice guy, but he over-caulks."
[Listen] "...You think they do it just to get you mad, but they don't."
10. Friends & Lovers
[Listen] "...It's not real butter, you know."
[Listen] "...Oh, we're not getting married..."
[Listen] "...You just better be on time to walk to school on Monday!"
[Listen] "...Where you from, sweetcakes? Finland? Czechslovakia?..."
[Listen] "...If you don't shut the door, I'm sook!"
11. Home for the Holidays
[Listen] "'Tis the season to be jolly..."
[Listen] "...But she's gonna be here three weeks. What's one night?..."
[Listen] "Now do you understand what I'm telling you?..."
[Listen] "...What's gonna happen when you grow up and your shoe is untied?..."
12. Accidental Puppy
[Listen] "You know what'd make me feel better about spending the whole night in line?..."
[Listen] "...If the inner circle girls jumped off a bridge, would you?..."
[Listen] "Have you stopped to think about Puddy's feelings?"
[Listen] "...No coin flips! I never win at coin flips!..."
[Listen] "...Do they have a pool?"
[Listen] "...I was one of the first guys to yell BRUUUCE!..."
[Listen] "...Damn, I thought we had those tickets!"