But you're Richard Simmons!

I was at some sort of outdoor festival or gathering with a lot of people there. Jack Nicholson was at one of the tents wearing a hospital gown or something similar and I got the feeling he was a crazy person, so there might have been some "Cuckoo's Nest" connection.

As I approached the booth, he yelled at me something about me being Richard Simmons and I had to do something Richard Simmons-y quick or he'd get really angry. So I start doing a terrible Richard Simmons voice and clapping and doing jumping jacks, and me and Jack go around the park jumping and exercising.

Afterwards, everyone tells me how hilarious it was.

Two separate DJs

This first dream took place yesterday. I was at university and was with my dad looking around. We were at some sort of presentation and he saw this boy and he was like "hey, he should be your friend!" and then he realized that he was actually a she. I went around with her for the rest of the day. She was… something. I can't remember. But she was weird, or she was angry, but she had a very strong personality. I just don't know what kind.

There was something with me reading some girl at the university's blog and wondering why she didn't post for a long time and then realizing she had a baby and she moved into a house that was in the middle of the mini-golf field on the campus.

Me and this girl and a group of other people went to this nightclub on the campus and it was all very blue and flashing lights and techno. The DJ was playing a song that was very recognizable, but I don't know what it was. It said "bounce… bounce… bounce" in it. I don't think it was an actual song, but in the dream, it was one of those songs they always play. So he was doing the scratchy-scratchy thing and was controlling these TV monitors behind him that played clips supposedly from "Karate Kid", which I've never seen, and "Wayne's World", so it would be like the song with sound bytes from these movies in it.

Then my yearbook teacher comes in and takes over the DJ booth and starts analyzing the song and the movie clips like it's a novel in English class. And me and about four other people are standing around listening to him go on and on and when he finally stops, there's silence. Then I'm like "you use too big words, sir".

Then yesterday, in real life, my summer school teacher told us of an incident where he mistook a male student for a female. And my brother was talking to me about an episode of "Full House" (which has a character named DJ).

Last's night dream involved another DJ, as the title would indicate. I was at some place with Jada, Steve, I think Jesse, and another guy and girl. I think the guy's name was Mark. Something with an "M". I don't recall what we did, but we ended up at a roller disco. We decided we would split up into teams and come up with routines and have a competition to see whose was the best. There was something weird, like there were two people who didn't like each other, probably the unknown guy and girl, and I knew that, but I asked Steve to be my "roller disco partner" because I wanted to be mean, I guess.

So I went to the DJ and asked for a particular song, "Boogie Shoes", I think, and he's like "nah, I don't have that". And I'm like "why the hell not!?" and he's like "I play new stuff" and I get kind of pissed off at him and he's like "hey, I just play what the people like" and I calm down and I'm like "oh, okay, I can respect that" but then realize "hey, what the fuck, this is a seventies roller disco!!!". And it goes on an on like that, with him making good points and me agreeing and then getting pissed off again.

Then there was this other dream where I might've wanted to commit suicide, so I went to this mountain (which was partly like the gallery), which turned out to be a very popular place for people wanting to commit suicide that day. There was a big field where everyone would throw their iPods before they jumped, so I was looking through them all. I got kind of sad and decided not to jump, and ended up rowing away in a row boat. I was kind of ashamed because it was like a rule that if you went there, you had to jump, and I was breaking the rule. There were a bunch of people at the top of the mountain by a road, and I recognized one guy from school and was like "ohh, that's so sad, why does he want to kill himself?", but I think they were actually there to watch fireworks.

Lying in the grass with some Stones

I don't recall much about this dream, considering it was about twelve hours ago, and considering I've been getting woken up rather abruptly lately, which always makes me forget my dreams.

Anyway, I was lying in a field of grass. I think it was rather long grass. I feel like it was at my elementary school at my old house, but I'm not sure.

There were a lot of other people lying in the grass, it was like some weird hippie thing. I remember looking over and seeing Mick Jagger and Ron Wood. I might've went over to say hi, but they ignored me or something, because I didn't stay long. Sometime later, I saw Keith Richards and decided to go hang out with him instead because I got the feeling that he might be lonely. Or maybe just because he's awesome. Either way, he was glad to have me lying on top of him.

There was also this freaky little kid wandering around, who I thought was like a ghost or something on "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" but he looked like the little boy with white hair from "Paradise Falls".

Virtual reality and the world festival

In the backyard, Danny and some of the other T-Birds from "Grease" (hmm, wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that I was reading "Grease" just before bed?) were running around and doing stuff at night. They were digging up the lawn (as it currently is in real life) and putting a long wire or something in it. I was there, or I was one of the T-Birds (probably Sonny, who is the narrator of the book), and was laying the wire down. There was a piece of paper with a poem on it, I think Danny wrote it. Suddenly, it was like I was in "Pop-Up Video" because I suddenly realized, or said, that Neil Simon based one of his plays on this poem. When we got to the end of the wire, we suddenly had to run away. I can remember the running away happening a few times, because I ran a different way each time. Danny and I ran out to the alley behind the house, I went right and he went left, then everything just faded to black. Another time, Danny went left, so I followed him. This was the right thing to do, because it brought me to the next scene.

So now I'm at someone's house either in Toronto or they have a good view of Toronto. Something about Toronto. Or maybe it was my (Sonny's?) house? It was kind of ghetto-y and I was there with a bunch of other people. We went up those stairs, like on the side of a house, to get to our/my/whoever's house. I looked out the window, which had a bad view of the rest of the city, mostly blocked by the building next to us, but the other tall house in the distance looked really nice.

Now, I kind of feel like the whole thing was a video game. Wait, yes, I remember now! It was "Duke Nukem Forever", which is a game I know nothing about, except that people always mention it on Digg and Reddit, because it's been in production for like a decade. So yeah, I was playing this game, and it was like virtual reality, because I was actually walking around doing stuff.

The game, or the level that I was on, was the Pope level. There was a car with the Pope in it in front of me and it drove off, and the level started, so I walked around, doing whatever. So I keep walking down this street, not in the direction of the Pope mobile, and I eventually see/hear three guys behind me, talking about how their going to mug me. And I think, eventually, they do.

The next time I was in the level, decided to do something different. I slow down and walk behind them and they leave me alone. But then I realize they're going to mug this other group of people in front of them now, so I speed up and walk with them. They don't want to talk to me, but one of them does. He starts to leave so I tell him urgently that the three guys are going to mug him and his friends. I notice that people have little white glowing number floating around them.

Anyway, I guess warning them didn't work, because I had to start the level again. I decided to turn around and go the other way instead, and maybe I'll catch the muggers before I would normally see them. Instead, I see Sawyer come out of a building on the corner, and run across this really busy street and into this nice looking office building. I run across as well at like super speed and I somehow don't die even though I'm hit by all these cars. I go in, but Sawyer was already in there, talk to a janitor who was actually… John Locke! I think I saw John several more times in my dream, each time with a different job. Anyway, John says something philosophical to Sawyer about being good or doing the right thing or something like he would always say, but Sawyer kind of glares and grits his teeth at him.

I somehow get pulled into this little room where there was a loud Hollywood type woman, I think with red hair (who may have been Rusty Sinclair from "Paradise Falls") and she tells me how she's an agent for babies and kids and teens and all this stuff. And suddenly there are a bunch of babies in the room, but then we have to take them out, because we just want to talk to the kids and teens. Oh, and something about nail polish! She was talking a lot about how some girls were telling her that you can put less on if you do something specific, and then she couldn't remember if it was more or less. I was putting on nail polish and it was very red. Red, red, red, hmm. Colours are important, aren't they?

I think I restarted the level a few other times, I'm pretty sure I ran into Kate walking down the street by the building that Sawyer came out of. I think Jack was further along down the street.

And then I was at my grandma's house at night time. I'm thinking this was a new dream, because I think I was me. And it didn't seem like a game anymore. Anyway, I had been or was at the moment talking to a drum teacher, a guy who I probably recognize from somewhere (a teacher or someone from TV?), and who was kind of old. I was supposed to have this snare thing ready for the next lesson, and I didn't understand what he was talking about. I thought it was just like some song played just on the snare, but then he said it was, but then it wasn't, and I don't know. I figured I could just do "Rock N Roll Band" by Boston because I already know it, but "Riders on the Storm" was out because I never really actually learned it.

I was wearing these white and red pants, that were alternately striped or kind of Hawaiian print each time I looked at them. Either way, they were ugly. I was holding a blanket around me because it was either cold or my shirt was even worse. I don't remember what went on at my grandma's house, but we were supposed to get something from her house or something. My brother and I were playing a game by the ditch, I think.

Eventually, it became day and grandma's house became this courtyard like thing in front of a school and there was a big festival going on. My parents were somewhere and they wanted coffee but for some reason they couldn't move and there were all these huge coffee vending machines around, but I didn't want to get one for them because I suck at making coffee. Me and Amy went around to explore the carnival. I asked if the games and rides cost money, because I didn't have any, but they did, and so I looked in my left pocket and found a toonie and a few quarters. Amy went to this one game that was a giant pinball machine and put a quarter in, but then I stepped way back to see the top of the machine and saw that it wasn't working, so she got her money back. I really wanted to get something, but I didn't know what. We kept seeing things and pointing them out, but not getting anything. There was a stall with a bunch of Pez and I was like "Pez!" and thought I should get some since I haven't had them in so long.

Somewhere along the way, I lost Amy and found Jada and the festival turned into this world themed thing, which each area being a different country. There was a very narrow aisle you could walk along between the crazy foreign merchandise on either side. By following this aisle, we ended up in the gallery at our school, with the merchandise on one side, and the railing and glass stopping you from falling into the gym on the other. We also ran into Jennifer here, who was behind me, and I was behind a large black couple, who were behind Jada. Then there were these four guys from the Netherlands that we didn't know behind Jennifer. Jada got to the end and then turned around and started walking back while we were still walking to the end, so we would have to step aside when she walked by. I think there were more people doing this as well, because I remember moving aside a lot.

When I got to the end, Jennifer and I and the four guys decided to take a different way back — we would scale the walls of the gym. There were people like taped to the walls, just below the glass railings, and stretchy U-shaped handles you could grab on to. The gym was a lot longer than I remember it being, even though I kept skipping handles and people, by stretching out my handles to go longer. I dropped this long pole thing halfway though onto the ground, which you weren't supposed to do because then the dudes on the gym floor would have to get it. I was like "just leave it, I'll get it after". I think I fell down onto the floor a few times, because the handles were really stretchy, but I got back up again. As I was near the corner, I was skipping a lot of people and then I looked back and realized that John was there with a piece of paper on the wall taped up next to him that said "3 / JOHN LOCKE". When I got to the end of the next wall, which was considerably shorter, I fell onto the ground again in a crazy way that probably was supposed to really hurt, but I just laughed and laughed and said "awesome!", then went to go get my pole. Jennifer and the four guys had already fallen down back near the beginning, but they didn't care to get up and finish the wall.

Then I was walking around with Jada again outside. There were these two guys, who I want to say were from the Netherlands booth but they really looked more Indian, and Jada was asking them for directions. The weather was really miserable and she had a black and white umbrella and she was wearing a light blue grey shirt, and the paper was also a blue-ish colour. As the guy was pointing at the paper and Jada was leaning over looking at it, everything just kind of froze for a second and everything was just picture perfect, and then, it was over. So I asked the guy if I could take his picture and he was like "oh, no no no, no way" so I was sad, but we said thank you and left.

As we were walking down the street I told Jada how everything was kind of greyish and just really pretty looking, like in a movie. And she was jealous and was like "man, my movie sucks". Somehow she couldn't see what I was seeing, so I guess I was on drugs. Anyway, then we started walking down a street where there was nothing happening and I was like "umm, this is the wrong way" and she was like, "no, we're going back around so I can get a better movie".

If this was a dream, you'd really be Michael

My family and I were living in this really big house, but it was actually kind of dingy and like a factory. I went into the basement where we were finally going to have a second bathroom. I wasn't too thrilled about it being in the gross basement, but it was a functioning toilet, and that was good.

I also wasn't too thrilled when I opened the door and found it was basically a square cement room, 3×3 feet would be generous, with just a toilet and barely any room for your feet.

I left the bathroom and was looking at some rectangular structure, like a table, but with wires and stuff on it. Someone approached the table on the left and I glanced up at them. It was Michael from "Lost". I thought "hey! If this was a dream, then that would be the real Michael! …but it isn't, so it's not". I said "hello". He said "hi".

Later I was having a birthday party with a whole bunch of people. Well, like ten maybe. I think some of the people I knew, but some of them seemed much younger than me. Maybe some of my friends when they were younger, or their younger siblings? I had a bunk bed, so people were on that, and on the floor, and everywhere. We decided to watch a movie, so we turned out the lights and I started to get the DVD ready. It was supposed to be season 1 of "Lost", but there were 14 discs per episode and they were all out of order. The first one I put in had Kate and Jack talking to Juliet in some dark place, and I realized that couldn't have been the right episode. I think people started leaving because they either didn't want to watch "Lost" or they didn't want to wait around for me to find the right disc. At one point I turned around and saw Steve sitting on the floor and waving to me and I was like "hey! You made it! Awesome!".

I eventually had to leave the party to run away from somebody/something, probably Martin Keamy and his dudes. I was running away with a bunch of other kids and my brother, maybe everyone from the party? We had to go onto the roof and move ourselves on our stomaches or crouched down really low to the other side, and if we got up, we would get shot. I saw Sun while I was on the roof, and she seemed to want to talk to me, so I went to the other side. She was on a dock and there were a bunch of foreign people there waiting for a boat. She walked to the end of the dock so that I could see her in the alley beside the building, but she didn't come close because she wasn't supposed to be talking to me. She was very pregnant. She started mouthing something to me and making motions, but I said that I couldn't understand. She came closer and told me that I had to leave, but I didn't want to because my parents were still inside. Parallel to Jin, anyone?